The best gift I have ever received

It happened in Medjugorje during Holy Week in 2010. I was 39 years old at the time. As a child, I was raised near Paris in a practicing Catholic family who taught me the faith. But at 15, I turned away, preferring to go out with friends who had a bad influence on me. We drank alcohol and took drugs. I had no self-confidence or self-esteem and I fought depression.

In 2003, I gave birth to a little boy. His father had left me when I was 3 months pregnant. I was deeply depressed and tried to commit suicide several times. I drank a lot, a whole bottle of whiskey some nights. I would hang out with people who were unsuitable and cruel to me. My son Mathis has suffered the full impact of all this—my driving drunk with him in the car and my other excessively risky behavior.

I stopped believing in God in 2003. For me, God could not exist! Why would he allow me to suffer like that? I lost my jobs many times. In March 2009, seeing that I was sinking more and more, my cousin and my aunts insisted that I go to Medjugorje. My mother babysat my son and I went with my father.

I was terrified to see all those pilgrims praying the Rosary in the bus and I said to myself: "What am I doing here with this crazy bunch of religious lunatics?" But to my complete surprise, Mary spoke to me on the hill of apparitions, and told me that she and Jesus loved me just as I was, and that I was dear to them!

I collapsed in tears, overwhelmed by a torrent of Love, by a feeling of being between Heaven and Earth. It was a total reconciliation! After that, I started praying. I fervently relearned my prayers, especially how to put my heart in my prayer. I was happier and more consoled than I had been in a long time.

Going to Medjugorje was the best gift I have ever received and I can’t thank my aunts, my cousin, my parents, and my sister enough for "making" me go! Since that pilgrimage, I haven’t touched a drink. I love myself and I know that I am loved. My life has changed dramatically. I live every day like a grace, I pray a lot, I say my Rosary, and I go to Mass. I really feel like I am reborn.

Sandy

Adapted from: Club Medj